A Recent Encounter

 

“You need to look where you’re going mate.”  

“You what?”  

“Deaf as well,” said the football hooligan.   

“Who you calling deaf?”  

“What?” 

“Funny bastard,” said the vicar. 

“Are vicars supposed to act like arseholes – apologise,” said the football hooligan.  

“Do you know how much of a fucking cliché you look right now. Go home, drink your Stella and beat your wife,” said the vicar.   

A traffic warden comes within ear shot followed by a policeman who hears raised voices. 

“Is there problem here?” 

“Fuck’s it got to do you with you Plod?” said the vicar.  

“I beg your pardon are you mad?” said the policeman.  

“Mad! I’m fuming mate, this arse clown bumped into me and made me spill my whiskey.” 

“Whiskey, they have whiskey,” said the policeman. 

“Don’t get excited it’s a single malt. I’d try the bourbon,” said the vicar.  

“I’m from Scotland I’ll stick with the malt,” said the policeman. 

“Hellooo, I’m still waiting for my apology,” said the football hooligan. 

Elvis swans into the, now most interesting, circle with Marilyn Monroe on his arm.  

“What we missed?”  

“Apparently, there’s some deaf, wife beating clown from Scotland moaning about the bourbon,” said the traffic warden.  

“I’d like to remind everyone,” said Cinderella, “this is meant to be a charity do.”